Taking the Slow-Coach to Book-Nerd Land
You know those ceiling fans that
only work when they are wound up to level 5 on the regulator? The levels 2, 3,
and 4 are basically the same on these fans –blowing air out of your mouth would
cool the room faster. If you turn it to 1, the fan stops altogether. So then,
you think to yourself, ‘you know what? I’m just going to turn it to 5.’ Now
your entire house flies out, there are papers everywhere like a
post-apocalyptic movie scene, your hair is messed up.
That’s me as a reader. I too
(approximately) have 5 reading settings.
You want me to critically analyse
George and Martha as a microcosm of the American society? Just forget about it.
I have now started skipping half the sentences, probably skipping to the next
one mid-sentence. If Holden has become a Catcher in the Rye and that absolutely
‘killed him,’ I wouldn’t know, because I am flying so fast I can’t see the rye
and I don’t know what a catcher is. There are papers everywhere and my hair is
messy. Yes, the fan is too fast.
Setting 1 – This is for when I
have huge lists of books on my Goodreads shelves, but I just don’t read any of
it. I buy them, yes. But I don’t read them.
Settings 2,3, and 4 are what I’m
usually at. I start reading but now I don’t remember why this Brenda lady said
that she wants a croissant so I have to re-read the previous page. I read the
first line and I understand it. I read the second line, then the third, and
then the fourth. But now I have forgotten what the second line was and I catch
my eyes lingering backwards through the lines.
I know that some of these
sentences mean something deep, but I can’t muster the ability to understand
them. Is Brenda and her croissant a microcosm of the American society? Maybe,
but it’s too much for me to comprehend right now. And I can’t continue reading
until I find out if it is. The problem is, I need to understand everything, all
of the time. But most of the stories I have read expect me to be uncertain for
a while.
There is another problem: my brain
does not stop chattering. Recently, I came across the words ‘this behooves me.’
My eyes wanted me to move forward but my brain was hyper fixating on how the
word ‘behooves’ looks like if the Monopoly logo guy, with his top hat
and walking stick, wore comically small specks and discussed a literary classic
in solemn tones. (Welcome to Oddly Specific Imageries with yours truly.)
I used to not be like this. In
school, I would read almost a book a week. I would borrow a book from the
library, maybe a Famous Five or a Secret Seven; I would sit cross-legged on my
bed and read. I would first sit with my back upright, but then slowly slouch
into a weird moon-shaped position. Before I know it I would be lying down and
reading, my concentration unwavering. The school librarian knew me by name. I
would have a book for school and a book for the bus; I would eat with the book
next to my plate; I would walk into doors because I was busy reading a book. (I
still walk into doors though, so I am beginning to think it might have not been
the book after all.)
Now, on bad days, I worry that there
are so many books I want to read and there is just one me – who for being such
a book lover, is also a slow coach. I notice that many of my ardent-reader
friends have also felt this at some point. And so, I take heart. I am crawling
back to reading the way I used to, one little word at a time. Maybe I’ll write
a post on how I’m doing that in another post.
Are you a fast or a slow reader? Have you ever felt this way? Let me know in the comments.
Can't relate to the extreme book lover part cause pretty lazy but loved absolutely every way u described each image. Perhaps this is my way of becoming a reader, 'One little word at a time, from a 1 to a 2.
ReplyDeleteAnd to answer your question, am a pretty slow reader who ironically ended up taking English literature.
Love your writing.
Yes, we got this! Let's read little by little. Taking up Literature was quite an irony for both of us, true. Feels good to have company. :)
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